Do you know how to get a million? No? Well, neither do we but we sure know how to spend one (on an archery range)! Can you imagine a fitness gym that makes you pay £100 per month for membership? Well, here we are, worth £1000 a month!
Are you one of those super important office workers that want to live your life stressed and under pressure? Then don’t even think of coming here! We’re way too relaxed and unworried, it’s just annoying! It’s impossible to get here anyhow – we’re only on a direct DLR line from Bank & Canary Wharf.
Not only will we make you spend most of your pocket money here, but we will also take all of your free time! You’ll be willing to travel more than an hour in uncomfortable public transport to get here and you will definitely spend more time chatting than shooting! So you will be making friends with totally insane archery geeks instead of getting fit and improving your technique!
Moreover, you’ll need to spend even more money on a rehab since we’re highly addictive! Our members and staff also suffer from infectious and incurable disease whose symptoms include humming, good mood and the most terrible one – a smile! Unfortunately, this lasts long after you leave the club, so stay miles away!
Also, if you’re looking for motivation to keep shooting without temptation or are on a diet, just quit reading this. We’ve got beanbags that are way too comfortable, tea and coffee facilities and some terribly delicious biscuits!
With our monthly parties with live music you can forget your Saturdays nights plans – and if you think you can get away from us at the weekends or Bank holidays, forget that as well – we’re open 7 days a week!
If you think this is a good place to pick up a cute girl or a hot guy having their first archery lesson, keep dreaming! Our two 18-metre shooting ranges are separate, thus the only people you can hit on are your fellow Pro archers. Poor you!
Let’s not forget how awful we are for claustrophobia. With both our ranges being only 18 metres long, one of them being extendable to 30 metres, a reception area and a terrace, we can’t possibly be big enough. Despite being able to fit 2,000 people in our 7,000-square-foot venue, we’re just a small basement.
In addition, we must admit – we’re just so immature! Why would any adult want to happily enjoy their favourite comic character and be able to release the inner fanatic within them? Everywhere you look there’s something, whether it’s a Warcraft themed range, a Hawkeye course, even all the bows are all named after Marvel heroes! Grow up!
Besides, shooting indoors with us is so dull anyway! All we do is stand on the shooting line. Occasionally with a bunch of other people getting their summer body ready shooting in their bikinis and shorts on a range heated to almost 30 degrees, or in their Pyjamas during an archery pyjama slumber party, or with a guy standing next to you dressed head to toe in Deadpool gear. Nothing special really.
And finally, calling all introverts who prefer to avoid excessive people interaction, we have a special event just for you! We host our own yearly Championships every April for up to 64 participants followed by even more people at the drinks night right after!
But wait, you’re still reading? Seriously? Well since you’re never going to get back the 5 minutes you’ve just spent, you might as well give us a call 🙂
Promotional content produced in collaboration with Archery Fit.